It's a fair claim that a movie based on a video game shalt not become high art.  But basics such as plot and character can usually be achieved.  Nay such things can be found in this film.

What's annoying is the waste of talent.  Jason Statham will never be Hamlet, and his combat scenes are one of the few saving graces of the film.  Add in John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Bloody Reynolds and Leelee Sobreski (who features in a makeout scene she had to have done at gunpoint) and you have a lot of talented performers somehow blackmailed into going through the motions of a ludicrous script.  Methinks the producers offered sexual favors to half the cast and kidnapped the offspring of the rest.  Matthew Iiliard is almost unrecognizeable as a goateed, emo courtier.

I would go into the story, if I could but find any.  The laughter is minimal, and the sight of watching Jason Statham lay waste to extras in orc knock-off costumes a sixpack at a time happens far too seldom.  Seek it out at the bargain bin at walmart when next ye need a window prop and a beer coaster.

The badges are being made and mailed off in plenty of time for Dragoncon this year.

If ye be wanting one and I have not thy snail mail adress, do inform me at Jaythebarbarian@gmail.com